My name is Kiki. My days mostly consist of eating, pooping and sleeping. I usually eat grain or vegetables but my favorite is electric cables. Wires and cables taste amazing and the more expensive the better. My favorite is Apple cables, the ones that cost over $20 such as lightning or thunderbolt cables. HDMI cables are also pretty good. Though I think I binge bite cables to forget the fact that my lifespan is just 23 years.

8 years isn’t a whole lot, it’s the time it took Amazon to become profitable. It took me over a week to figure out where the water is, my odds aren’t looking good to do something with my startup idea. Did I tell you I have a startup idea? It’s a salad delivery service. I haven’t figured out the business model yet but I sure could use the service, that’s how I came up with the idea. I started work solving the traveling salesman problem. Efficient delivery is the key.

I’m scared of elephants, snakes and I don’t have a lisp because I can’t talk so I’m using Ruby. It’s well known birds like shiny things, that’s why Twitter uses Ruby.

I don’t really have a business plan, I’m illiterate so it’s kinda hard for me to put one together in LaTeX. I’m not planning to raise capital, I heard about the lean startup thing and I’m going to bootstrap. I’m just one year old, haven’t had a job yet so I have nothing saved up. All I know is that I’d rather own 100% of a worthless company than give up control.

What’s so special about my startup you ask? it’s a trade secret. If I tell you, you’ll steal my idea and make a new startup and then I’d lose the competitive advantage I potentially could have. You see my startup idea is so simple that any moron could do it. If I told you, you’d probably manage to do it all in less than an hour.

I’m completely confident that my startup will make a billion dollars, that’s a given. The only thing I don’t know, is when I’ll next be fed some salad.


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